Emotionally Unstable Shit

As everyone knows, it's the result day. Well, I was trying not to feel anything about it, unlike other kids. All I kould see yesterday was their statuses on Fesbuk telling how nervous they were to wait for their SPM result. I was like what the hell, I've figured out as much how mine would turn out to be. I know how I've done it, and based from that, I expekted for the worst. Not hoping for something good, I've even hoped for something bad so it wouldn't go against my hope if it'd turn out to be so. And so today (the day earlier) I got to know how it's turned out. Well, it's not so bad, just a la karte, I guess. But I really feel so grateful for it. I've passed Additional Mathematiks and Kemistry, which I'd expekted to fail miserably earlier. But even those two are kredits. And all are, aktually. Getting all kredits is something that I kan feel good about, to think of how I studied last year. And truth be told, I didn't really study.

And I kind of know what kourse I'm going for after this. It's something I like but when I received a kall this evening from my aunt who is a teacher, she asked about it and told me to think and konsider my choice and that it must be based on so-kalled REALITY and job prospekts and not just interest, belittling me about my words on being a writer. The fuck. I'd been okay since the morning and after the result but she ruined that. What a pain in ass to have a teacher in family who thinks she knows everything. Stay away from my fucking life and never try to influence me; let me worry about my goddamn future on my own.

And I'm kind of mad right now. Krazy, emotionally unstable. I don't know. I don't want to be so affekted by the result- no, I don't think I'm mad about it. But I got a little impatient when talking to those who try to advise me about my future shit. Damn me for jealousy all you want but I kind of hate to see their happiness. I know, I know I shouldn't be jealous but I don't really know for sure if it's really jealousy. And for those who are devastated for getting bad result, if there's any, I really want you to know that you're a piece of shit. It's not the end of the world you idiot. Don't be such a krybaby.

And to think how I've been in Fesbuk lately, in a group of last year's skoolmates, it's shit. I know, I love being funnily stupid and joking around all the time but it appears to me that all who've been responding to me in that group are all smarties. I don't know. It's simply shit. I've been loud and silly and all, and I sometimes think I kan get sick of myself and that I'd fucking shut myself silent if I were someone else. I think I'm funny and all that but- oh shit, what the hell am I doing talking about this? Fuck.

You fucking asshole. You're mad about others bekause the real thing is, you're not satisfied enough with what you got even though you refuse to admit it. I don't know if you're naturally a humorous idiot or that you just try to be it but everything has a limit.  You want people to stay out of your fucking life but you yourself keep bugging them with your supposedly "funny" jokes. You better shut the fuck up and stop being so loud you fucking asshole. I see you've removed your loudness from there and from those who think you're loud but I don't see what that would make things be.