New Head Protection.

Hey sisters. You're shit. And I'm sick of your shits. No point of babbling like a mad girl, stupid. Think you're bold enough, go clear things up straight on their faces. You're shit. They're shit. Nothing makes us all different. We're all just the same. Stop it. I keep things going easy by keeping my mouth shut. Coward? I don't know. Silence is golden they say. Sorry. This is just how I think.

---

I talked to her today. She has just survived from a car accident. To be true, I've been feeling tired, and sick of girls, I don't know why. I've always thought of people saying that before. Now I believe it. Girls are sickening. Not that I'm surrounded by many, it's only one, yeah, you. You're not that bad. You're good. Don't worry. I have nothing to be proud of, and that makes me really appreciate your existence. And talking to you again today, knowing about your little accident, have made me worried about your condition. So then I know, I still want to be with you. Definitely. And please let me know what you think of me. Just don't avoid me after reading this, will you?

Kembali.

Salam. Kami kembali ke ruang elektronik. Selepas lebih kurang seminggu tidak ke udara. Kami baru sahaja kembali dari daerah Dungun, kampung kami. Berjaya mengutip hasil beberapa puluh Ringgit Malaysia lagi dari ibu dan bapa saudara tersebut. Ringgit Malaysia, bukan Dolar Amerika atau Pound Sterling Britain. Memang terasa bagus. Talian Internet juga sudah kembali pulih seperti sediakala, kelihatannya. Dan mungkin juga anda tertanya-tanya kenapa kiriman ini ditulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia. Kami sebenarnya baru lepas melawat laman jaringan Butterfingers dan sedikit terpengaruh dengan gaya penyampaiannya yang mengutamakan Bahasa Malaysia. Mereka bagus. Oh. 'Kami'. Tidak mengalami sebarang gangguan mental. Bukan juga dwipersonaliti. Tidak sesekali. Sesekali, mungkin.

Bergelut bersusah mencari kata, bahasa ibunda senang dan sukar.

Butter Late Than Never.

A'msickaufalltheez seeckeninshitz. Ouffte Denmork.

Absolutely Definitely.

Whow. It turned out to be a happening Raya for me. Heh. I've been outing, no, it's Raya tripping, to friends' houses for 3 days in a row. Moondie, Twist-day and Weddingness-day. What with those weird names, I don't know. Well, kind of enjoyed the days riding with the guys under the hot sunny weather oh fuck. I mean, it was good. We even went to Cherating and Kemasek. Whow. That's quite far, in two opposite directions. Lame. But hell it was still great. And worthy. I hadn't expected for Duit Raya, as for my intentions, and only, was to meet them and check out how they were doing and have fun but oh gratefully, one envelope after another got into pocket. And I love it when my wallet gets fattened. It smells nice.

"Ho'zyoknie? Wellefit'ztillged A'dlyke tebreckitfoyea."

Eid the First

Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. It lasted for just few hours. Or less. Then here I am, alone, again, home. Can it be called 'home', with no one else here but me? But that, doesn't really matter. Here is where I feel safe, undisturbed, contented, everything. Okay, fine. It would be just good to get out of here, sometimes. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, or the day after it.
Whenever I have the men.

"So, you guys enjoyed Raya?"

Last Breakfast of the Year.

So, it's already Eid. Okay, Eid's Eve. There's nothing much I can do now, except regret that Ramadhan has ended. It's been a lovely fasting month, I don't know why, I just loved it. Maybe for the food. And truthfully, I don't think I'm really into celebrating Raya like others. Well, maybe I will, but right now, it doesn't feel like there's a big day tomorrow. No. I Muslim should be happy for it, as well as be grateful to have it without any difficulties, hardships like some people do. And so I'm alone at home now, the rest gone to their aunty's house, gathering for cooking, having fun, whatever.
I'm looking forward to having next Ramadhan.

Island In the Sun

Yesterday I got a card from you, yea, thanks. I was afraid Emperor might know about it. Heh. He asked a few, and no more. Last night, I got into that room again. And suddenly I became weird. I don't know. I used weird words, minds arguing between to hate them and to be friendly. Not to mention I've always been that way before. And today, I didn't go to school, again, for the practical class for the licensing. I'm not sure about the way I spell lisence. Okay, that seems right enough. Oh, no. 'Licence' is for British, 'license' is American. No wonder I always doubted its spelling before. And there's another thing. I do really feel suck right now. I don't know why. Do you?
Wow. I just need to write it and swoosh it's gone now. I think.

How do people define normality and sanity?

Soundtrack - Island In The Sun by Weezer

1.2 mg of Idontgivedamn.

"Don't go out tonight. Your mom got really angry last night. Do you hear me?"

Yes. I did. What, do they think I'm still their little kid? Now, I don't think I know what I really am. Haslina, are you a freak lesbian? I'm just an over-protected 12 year-old girl. I can't go out at night, I can't stay out late, I can't do anything with those mates. Whow. I love to be home. I love to get trapped with these flies around. Yea damn I love it. I think I know how they think. And I don't blame them for being over-protective. But what's the point? I damn know how to take care of myself. All I'm asking for is a little more freedom. I just don't know what's wrong with you people. Do I sound like a stupid rebellious teenager? Damn me if I do.

Hit&Run

All of a sudden, I'm feeling a little too exhausted right now. Can't breathe enough air. Every inch of my body is aching. Feels like there are some enormous arrows striking upon me. Maybe it's because of fasting. But I blame school for that. Damn. There are lots of undone works waiting to get done. Like I'm going to finish all that anyway. I really want to be here, but the bed somehow seems much too appealing. Fight. Fight.

---

This happened on last Saturday. They had a gathering at my uncle's place. After breakfast, I sped all the way back home. Unfortunately, there's this area where the lights were all out. I hardly saw anything and then skreet.. dang! I hit a cyclist. As for my selfish and panic reaction, I just sped away from him. He didn't even fall though, I witnessed. But then I was home, alone and sweating hard, panicked trying to fix a small damage to my damn motorcycle. And I did feel guilty. I still do, believe me.

Resignation Letter.

Dear readers,

Hope you doing fine. I don't give shit if you're not. I'm still on my vacation, enjoying stolen non-school days for these few days. Since the school re-opening after the one week holiday, up till now, I'd been there for only two days. It should've been four, if I was a good student. Hell freezes over. Well, seems like the same would go for this week. Maybe less. Not that I bother. And don't trouble yourself telling me what's good for me or what's wrong with me.
Till I write again, get your asses out of here.
Ciao.

11. Waiting for Daybreak

Damned fool. Or simply a weird lazy guy. I wrote my quote in 'Pasca XM' post on my Physics paper. But then Fairuz, the young teacher read it. She somehow loves to tease, no, embarass me. She passed my paper to the class to read it. And yea, everyone did. Fuck'd? I don't know. Fairuz added, "I love marking his papers. There's always something he got on it. It's creative." Yea right. Want me to say 'thanks'?

Snouck Hurgrojne

nama timangan :-
Friends call Kay. Not Gay. Family; Abang. The only son maa. Some might call Kai or Kaer or argh.. call me anything you prefer. Don't think you know me just because you know what I'm called. Erk.

anda seorang yg :-
Weird. Shy. Weird. Funny. Weird. HARD TO UNDERSTAND. Eh?

lagu kesukaan :-
Currently on "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane, of course.

food kesukaan anda :-
Makanan berbuka puasa.

sikap yg membuatkan anda stresss :-
Pansy. Bitchy. I don't know. Maybe demanding? Haih...

bende yang mesti ada dlm beg:-
Bag? I don't bring bag to anywhere except to school. Got rubbish in it.

warna kesukaan anda :-
Black, mostly. And yea, other colours as well, depends on the combination.

kali terakhir anda menangis dan mengapa :-
I don't remember when. It was because I dreamt of hitting my sisters badly. And I dreamt that time to time. Yea, I sob in sleep. It's good, you should try it I suggest.

Pasca XM.

There you go. The nice and short break has passed. And here I go living the old boring school routine again. Ah~~ Shit. It's always been shit, now and then. And yea, the exam. I've got few papers today. History and Add Maths got over my expectation. It's good, I feel it. But yea, that'll never make me happy in school. Uh.. I'm tired of hating school. Please.

"She said effort is equal to result. I doubt that. How did I get 37% when my effort is 0%?"
- Physics