REVOLUTION K

Beauty

A real beauty
to me, is one
whose hair I never lay my eyes upon;
whose eyes never try to meet others';
whose skin is unknown of its softness;
and whose voice is seldom heard
This one,
who has less admirers,
has won me.

Eve of Doomsday

... and I start to fall,
diving helplessly in the air of fear,
waiting forever to reach the ground.

Show Your Sound

I plan to do some wordjob on my tees. I'll have to get fabrik dye for that. And a brush. And I kan start the projekt anytime soon, using my old wearable t-shirts.

I hope this projekt won't just go off in planning without even getting started. This is real exciting me; I don't have to find tees that suit my mind no more; I kan easily make them myself. Or not too easy, we'll see.

The Refrigerator Goes On Hiatus

The Doomsday of Food in the days of hunger.

Living without kold water.

Trials & Tribulations

Walking on the ledge of life,
leading me to the end of it.
Time keeps moving, shoving me forward.
And when the path ends,
I fall
into the abyss of time,
irreversible.

The Black Brother

It all started this evening, when I was leisurely on the komputer and listening to the Beatles, when the little devil got back home from nowhere, and found out Mom was still not home after work. She started kalling her again and again and throwing tantrums and that was hell irritating me. I threatened her in effort to make her shut up. That looked bad, as I was lightly, very lightly, stepping on her arm, as she was trying to dial Mom for one more time. It was kaotik and noisy; her elder sister got out of her room to see what I was doing. She interfered, fighting me with words, skreaming fiercely to stop me. I got back to komputer and then they were now fighting there; the elder one in effort to shut the younger one. And then she threatened to chili the skreaming mouth, who'd spat on her face. Yeah, she aktually did go and take some chilies, and as she was about to approach her sister, I blocked her, to prevent what she was going to do. She then shouted something to me; I think it was about me being supreme just bekause I'm older than them, yeah. She punched me on my shoulder and that was it. That was what made me do it; I tried to hit back on her shoulder and I missed my strike as she was too klose to me; I unintentionally whacked her on her face. It was quite hard; I still slightly feel the pain of my knuckle. She was stunned; she touched her mouth and rushed to the sink. I'd never done that before. I felt - and still do - so bad I rushed out of home in my Hawaiian shorts. I wandered all over the places on my engine and finally spent some time by the town's river, feeling bad and tired. Fucked. I only started back home after it was over an hour, expekting and hoping for questions and skolds and punishments from the Emperor, to relieve my guilt. But that was in vain. I entered the house only to see they were all okkupied in setting up the new TV set they bought today, to replace the old one that didn't funktion no more, due to the thunder of the last Saturday. Damn. I'd rather get a slap.
The sisters are just 8 and 14. Yeah, we're a harsh family.
And she didn't lose any tooth, like I thought she would. That's relieving.
Sorry girls. I'm just not a good brother to you.

Violence of Siblinghood

The Kursed Koin

I realize there are so many wrong things about me. In me. I sin most probably everyday; aware of it or not. One of them, the biggest problem I have, is my lust. Dirty lust. It's hard to restrain my wild, impure imaginations from wandering to the dark side every time I see females; yeah, that's why, I see them everyday. And I usually gain konsciousness almost instantly soon after the realization of the sin of it and I struggle to direkt my thoughts to something else in order to vanish the dirt. And once in a while, whenever there's a chance - being alone -, I'd do something that I refer to as 'playing at neighbour's backyard'; pornography. I've been enjoying that while bearing the guilty feeling for it. The guilt resists but apparently, it's always not strong enough. Another major wrong thing in me is my ridikulously fucking pride. I always think that I'm better than anyone else - why, oh why - and that often makes me see only their weaknesses and immoralities; looking down on them. That is simply sick. It's disgusting myself to have that kind of thought. And to battle this, I keep telling myself that I need to forget what good or great things I've done, if there's any, and that the people, everyone of them, are good in their own way. Better than me, for sure.
I need to change, for God's sake. And I think I'd start with resisting my lust, by avoiding temptations. And I hope and pray that this time, it's for good. I don't want this effort to be wasted away, like what that happened on the ones before.
I want to be better in my faith as much as I want my mind to develop.

Weird Tales

I'd kome akross this Lovecraft Mythos; a big fiktional universe of gods and weird kreatures, kreated by H. P. Lovecraft in 1920's. It's about the priciple of kosmicism and pseudomythologikal entities, and it's not just one story. There are many other works related to it; being inspired by the kreatures and the principles in the mythos. There are possibly many short stories, komiks, and films that adapt ideas from this Lovecraft Mythos. It is interesting, but I don't expekt I'd ever get to read and know everything about it, as much as I'd like to do that. And I also found a webkomik, The Unspeakable Vaults of Doom, a parody to the mythos and I spent hours reading it today.
It's all about weird kreatures and fantasies.

I had a blog-running just now as I was waiting for the webkomik pages to load. I hit the 'Next blog', skimming random blogs that showed up. But it turned out not to be so random. Everytime I klicked the 'Next blog', I went to a blog with some, if not most, references to Kristianity. There were about 8, 9 sites of churches and things related to their god, with 2 or 3 plain others between them. I'm not an extremist, as we Muslims do have to respekt others' beliefs, but I don't feel just okay about those things. I fear that they might just mislead me; my faith ain't like the ones of my pious Muslim brothers. Mine is not strong enough. Those sites, are they purposely arranged by Blogger to show up every time we go through random blogs? And I decided to return here and make another run; to make sure whether I'd kome up with more churches' sites this time.
And there weren't.
I need to strengthen my grip on my faith; my hold to the One and only God I have; Allah.