Need For Speed UnderMARA

Though I might not be too good at it, I love language. Writing, literature, poetries- almost everything in it. So what I've been having in mind since this kouple of years is to lengthen my interest to a level where I kan just koncentrate on it. Like, taking it for my diploma study. And maybe going further with degree, and lastly, enjoying life, making my interest as a source of living. But one thing I really hope I kould avoid is teaching- no, it's being a teacher. I resent being a teacher. This is kaused by my resentment towards skool; a place where I've spent 13 out of 18 years of my miserable life. I admit, skool isn't that bad but I kan't seem to konform with rules and skedules and uniformity. It's torturing, really. And I'm in between two options for my diploma; English study and TESL, Teaching English as Sekond Language. The first option is of kourse my first choice, but it'd be just studies. A diploma. There's no konvincing future in it- as "future", as regarded by many, is a life with a highly-paid job. On the other hand, the sekond option, TESL, will ensure me to have a job as a teacher, which is something I'd rather be jobless than to take it as a lifestyle. But people around me, especially my parents, have voiced out their desire and urgency for me to choose TESL. Mom told me last night to think about my future and not just my interest. And that they want me to choose something "future-konvincing" not for them, but for myself. I know, they want nothing from me but when they said it that way, they've made me realise that I MUST help them when I'm older. Money isn't everything, but with money, I kan help them. Repay them, though I'm sure no parents would want that. But I'm konfused bekause they'd told me earlier that they didn't mind me choosing anything as long as I have the heart for it. That was when I said I'd choose TESL. But yeah, I really must think about my future. And now, I kan feel that I'm more determined to go for TESL for my diploma, and be a teacher for some time and finish it to the degree level, and only after all that will I do anything I like, studying deeper literature, for example. I don't plan on being a teacher forever and spend my whole life in skool, no. I still dislike teaching profession, and I always will.

Aha, at times like this, Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken ekoes in indecisive minds.

I really hope you're satisfied with your decision, dude. But not happy, no, for happiness is the pleasure of being able to do what we like, not with money, but with our own will and desire.

Emotionally Unstable Shit

As everyone knows, it's the result day. Well, I was trying not to feel anything about it, unlike other kids. All I kould see yesterday was their statuses on Fesbuk telling how nervous they were to wait for their SPM result. I was like what the hell, I've figured out as much how mine would turn out to be. I know how I've done it, and based from that, I expekted for the worst. Not hoping for something good, I've even hoped for something bad so it wouldn't go against my hope if it'd turn out to be so. And so today (the day earlier) I got to know how it's turned out. Well, it's not so bad, just a la karte, I guess. But I really feel so grateful for it. I've passed Additional Mathematiks and Kemistry, which I'd expekted to fail miserably earlier. But even those two are kredits. And all are, aktually. Getting all kredits is something that I kan feel good about, to think of how I studied last year. And truth be told, I didn't really study.

And I kind of know what kourse I'm going for after this. It's something I like but when I received a kall this evening from my aunt who is a teacher, she asked about it and told me to think and konsider my choice and that it must be based on so-kalled REALITY and job prospekts and not just interest, belittling me about my words on being a writer. The fuck. I'd been okay since the morning and after the result but she ruined that. What a pain in ass to have a teacher in family who thinks she knows everything. Stay away from my fucking life and never try to influence me; let me worry about my goddamn future on my own.

And I'm kind of mad right now. Krazy, emotionally unstable. I don't know. I don't want to be so affekted by the result- no, I don't think I'm mad about it. But I got a little impatient when talking to those who try to advise me about my future shit. Damn me for jealousy all you want but I kind of hate to see their happiness. I know, I know I shouldn't be jealous but I don't really know for sure if it's really jealousy. And for those who are devastated for getting bad result, if there's any, I really want you to know that you're a piece of shit. It's not the end of the world you idiot. Don't be such a krybaby.

And to think how I've been in Fesbuk lately, in a group of last year's skoolmates, it's shit. I know, I love being funnily stupid and joking around all the time but it appears to me that all who've been responding to me in that group are all smarties. I don't know. It's simply shit. I've been loud and silly and all, and I sometimes think I kan get sick of myself and that I'd fucking shut myself silent if I were someone else. I think I'm funny and all that but- oh shit, what the hell am I doing talking about this? Fuck.

You fucking asshole. You're mad about others bekause the real thing is, you're not satisfied enough with what you got even though you refuse to admit it. I don't know if you're naturally a humorous idiot or that you just try to be it but everything has a limit.  You want people to stay out of your fucking life but you yourself keep bugging them with your supposedly "funny" jokes. You better shut the fuck up and stop being so loud you fucking asshole. I see you've removed your loudness from there and from those who think you're loud but I don't see what that would make things be.

Hikayat Zeus Menangis

Maka demikianlah diceritakan pada zaman dahulu kala, zaman bermulanya sejarah bola sepak sebuah negara yang dikenali dengan nama Malaysia. Adapun di sebuahi negeri yang lain, di hujung dunia terdapatlah sebuah gunung yang menjadi tempat dewa-dewa bersemayam, Mount Olimpus namanya. Adapun yang tinggal di gunung ini tiada lain tiada bukan melainkan dewa-dewa Greek, yakni Zeus dan kaum-kaum kerabatnya, yang hidupnya atas doa-doa dan sembahan-sembahan rakyat jelata. Maka pada suatu hari, datanglah tiga orang perutusan dari negeri lain, yang jauh sekali dari tanah Greece itu. Adapun yang bertiga ini adalah dari China, Korea, dan Malaysia. Maka utusan dari China pun segera berlari ke atas puncak gunung ingin bertanya para dewa tentang nasib bola sepak negaranya. Apakah mungkin negaranya dapat beraksi di Piala Dunia? Maka, Zeus pun menjawab, "Ya, 50 tahun lagi." Utusan China itupun segera berlari pulang ke negaranya, sambil menangis kerana mendengar khabar itu. Berfikir akan nasibnya sempat atau tidakkah dia untuk melihat pasukannya di Piala Dunia. Utusan kedua, yakni yang dari Korea itu pun memulakan lariannya ke puncak gunung. Soalan sama ditanya, dan jawapan Zeus, "Ya, 30 tahun lagi." Maka orang Korea itu pun berlari pulang jugalah, pun menangis jualah ia kerana mendengar berita itu. Sampai giliran utusan dari Malaysia, setelah penat berlari ke puncak gunung untuk berjumpa dewa, maka soalan sama jua yang ditanya, "Wahai Zeus, bilakah Malaysia dapat memasuki Piala Dunia?" Maka yang mengejutkan seluruh sekalian penghuni Mount Olimpus itu, adalah Zeus tidak terus menjawab. Setelah 2 3 minit menunggu, akhirnya Zeus sendiri yang menangis. Maka tahulah ia akan utusan Malaysia itu, rupa apakah akan nasib pasukan bola sepak negaranya yang tercinta.

Pengalaman Seram Di Internet

Pada suatu tengah malam, ketika saya sedang bermain Fesbuk di Internet, saya terdengar satu bunyi yang tidak berapa menggerunkan. Jam menunjukkan pukul 12.51. Saya tidak berasa takut pada mulanya kerana menyangka ianya sekadar bunyi kucing milik jiran saya, namun tiba-tiba saya terfikir, adakah jiran saya betul-betul membela kucing? Logikkah jika jiran saya membela kucing? Mana tahu kalau-kalau dia suka membela burung? Saya mula berasa tidak sedap hati. Saya ke dapur dengan perasaan takut dan gementar lalu membuka peti sejuk untuk mengambil air sejuk. Saya lihat banyak makanan yang bergelimpangan di dalam peti sejuk namun saya tidak mengendahkan mereka. Selepas meminum air, saya terus beredar ke ruang tamu untuk menyambung bermain Fesbuk. Setelah beberapa minit menekan butang "Home" Fesbuk setiap 10 saat, saya menjadi bosan yang teramat. Lalu saya membuka tab baru, dan memasuki blog saya iaitu Sound Machine. Lalu saya mula menulis sebuah cerita yang bertajuk "Pengalaman Seram Di Internet."

Kapital City of Terengganu

Berkaitan dengan lawatan pendek aku ke Kuala Terengganu, aku memang rasa sedap sebab aku tak biasa pergi bandar-bandar besar macam ni. Kira yang kelmarin dulu tu kali pertama aku untuk bandar Kuala Terengganu. Walaupun tak ronda satu bandar penuh, tapi kira orait juga la. Dah macam katak bawah gelas pulak aku rasa. Ada banyak bangunan lama dan baru dengan kedai-kedai baru dan lama. Macam bangunan tempat terletaknya MekDonel tu, yang tu bangunan baru, dalam 4 5 tahun aku rasa. Tapi sayang, bangunan tu yang sepatutnya jadi pusat membeli-belah, cuma MekDonel yang kat bawah tu je yang beroperasi. Bangunan tu dah lama buka, menurut kawan aku, tapi entah apa masalahnya kedai-kedai lain tak beroperasi. Dalam tu aku masuk tengok semua gelap sampai ke atas. Belakang bangunan tu ada satu lagi bangunan yang masih dalam proses pembinaan. Kalau yang tu pun jadi macam kawan sebelah dia jugak, tak tahu la aku. Tapi terminal bas tepi tu memang hidup. Ye la, tempat orang tunggu, naik bas. Bangunan tu tingkat atas dia ada banyak kedai yang jual barang-barang untuk pelawat macam kain, kraftangan, benda-benda macam tu. Bawah tu belah luar ada sederet kaunter jual tiket bas. Dalam pulak ada gerai-gerai makanan, kira macam medan selera jugalah, untuk orang-orang yang tunggu bas, drebar-drebar bas, dan orang yang saja pergi lepak-lepak macam aku.

Syahbandar tu pulak, yang dekat tepi sungai, memang kena dengan jiwa aku. Aku memang suka tempat-tempat tepi sungai, tepi pantai. Banyak angin. Boleh relaks. Lepak tempat-tempat macam ni sejam dua seorang diri pun orait lagi rasanya. Dari situ boleh nampak Pulau Duyung, tempat orang lumba perahu layar. Sepanjang seberang sana tu ada macam pulau jugalah, yang memisahkan sungai tu dengan laut yang kat depan sana nu lagi. Aku hairan jugak bila tengok ada banyak juga tempat duduk bertingkat beratap, rupanya untuk tengok lumba perahu layar. Petang masa aku pergi situ pun memang ramai jugalah orang yang ambil angin kat situ. Ada yang memancing, ambil angin, berdating, macam-macam. Tepi tempat tempat duduk terakhir tu ada sederet kanopi besar tempat gerai-gerai makanan. Makan sambil tengok sungai pun sedap juga rasanya. Tempat makan tu kira dekat belakang pusat membeli-belah dan boling Astaka tu jugalah.

Tapi keseluruhannya, lawatan tak berbayar aku ni memang seronok la. Dah la jimat duit, dengan kawan pulak tu. Jarang sungguh aku dapat peluang macam ni. Dapat tengok-tengok bandar selain dari pekan Kemaman yang aku dah tak tahu nak pergi ke mana lagi dah sebab dah merata ceruk aku pergi. Terima kasih la aku ucapkan untuk kawan aku si Irfan ni dan jugak keluarga dia sebab ajak aku ke Kuala Terengganu.

Keepers of Holy Words II

Ahad lepas aku sekali lagi ikut member aku Irfan ke Majlis Menghafaz Al-Quran Peringkat Negeri Terengganu. Kali ni mak dengan adik dia ikut sekali. Jadi memang macam sardin sikit la duduk dalam Waja 3 orang kat belakang. Pagi Ahad tu pukul 9.00, aku dikejutkan dengan panggilan telefon oleh Irfan ni, tanya nak ikut dia ke Kuala Terengganu ke tak. Aku dah la tak siap satu apa pun lagi; mulut pun lekat air liur basi lagi. Dalam lebih kurang setengah jam aku dah siap mandi dan kemas seluar baju, kali ni aku packing untuk 3 hari, walaupun perginya untuk 2 hari je.

Bertolak dalam pukul 11 sebelas jugak la. Sampai kat sana tengah hari- sembahyang di Masjid Terapung (yang sebenarnya taklah terapung pun), lepas tu pergi dan tinggal member aku tu kat Pejabat Agama untuk taklimat peserta. Ayah si Irfan ni sebenarnya suruh aku teman dia ni masuk taklimat, tapi member aku ni pulak berkeras nak pergi seorang, aku pun malas la nak berkepit 24 jam dengan dia. Tinggal dia kat situ, aku dengan keluarga dia ke medan selera baru dekat tepi Giant, makan nasi ayam. Kekok jugak la, ye la, dah aku dengan mak bapak adik dia je. Dia tak ada. Petang tu lepas ambil dia, terus ke hotel yang mak dia dah tempah. Bukan hotel besar pun- yang jenis hotel bajet dan berkongsi dengan bangunan kedai barang elektrik dan lain-lain. Tapi dalam tu kira okey jugak la, memang bagus. Memang hotel.

Malam tu lepas makan kat kedai depan hotel tu, aku dengan Irfan ni pergi berjalan kaki ke tapak ekspo Syahbandar, tapak karnival Jom Heboh baru-baru ni. Gila. Dah la dua-dua berkopiah, dia ni pulak siap dengan kain pelikat, memang macam nak buat serbuan maksiat jugak la. Berjalan lebih kurang 15 minit, baru sampai kat sana. Irfan ni ingat nak tengok badminton kat TV gergasi tu, tapi aku rasa orang Kuala Tranung ni lebih suka tengok hoki rasanya. Lepas ushar-ushar ekspo, lepak-lepak tepi sungai ambil angin, masuk tempat shopping Astaka, kami pun mula berjalan balik ke hotel. Tapi satu lagi yang aku pelik pasal tempat ni, dari pukul 8 malam lagi dah kedai-kedai kat Tanjung ni tutup. Awal sungguh orang kat sini tidur mak aih. Yang ada pun cuma kedai-kedai makan tepi jalan tu. Lepas ke 7-Eleven depan nu sikit beli Slurpee, baru balik ke bilik. Aku tidur atas katil seorang diri- katil single. Bapak dan anak lelaki tidur kat bawah tengah-tengah antara 2 katil, katil satu lagi mak dengan anak perempuan. Malam tu sampai lewat malam diorang anak beranak ada tengok badminton kat TV, tapi aku dah tidur awal- aku bukan layan sangat pun sukan raket-bulu tangkis ni. Kaki lenguh tak payah cerita la. Lepas berlunjur, lipat, lepas lipat, berlunjur balik.

Isnin esoknya, sembahyang Subuh di Masjid Ladang. Sebenarnya tak sempat berjemaah pun; masuk-masuk je orang dah tahiyat akhir. Tapi masjid tu memang lawa. Aku pertama kali pergi. Besar juga. Lepas balik dan bersiap-siap, pergi makan nasi lemak di warung dan terus ke Pejabat Agama. Aku dengan baju kemeja lengan panjang yang aku beli di bundle untuk graduasi dulu pakai sama jaket. Berkasut berkopiah. Dressing ustad. Kawan aku pulak peserta, biasa la, macam pengantin. Berbaju Melayu siap bersamping. Lepas daftar untuk tujuan cabutan bertuah, masuk auditorium. Aku dengan bapak kawan aku ni duduk seat stail pawagam baris paling depan. Dia bagi aku kamera video untuk rakam orang mengaji. Dia sendiri guna kamera kecil biasa siap dengan kaki. Kira elok jugalah dia suruh aku jadi kameraman, walaupun aku agak takut nak handel alat-alat canggih ni, tapi sekurang-kurangnya taklah aku bantai membuta je masa orang sibuk mengaji. Kamera tu jugak aku gunakan untuk zoom dan ushar awek-awek yang datang menonton dan jugak yang jadi peserta. Hahaha. Keji sungguh. Tapi aku macam biasa, 2 3 kali jugak terlelap. Ada 2 kali sesi cabutan bertuah tak silap aku, tapi banyak budak sekolah je yang bertuah. Takpe, aku tunggu. Duduk dalam tu dari pagi sampai ke petang dalam pukul 3 lebih macam tu. Lepas makan hidangan tengah hari yang pengurusan dah sediakan, kitorang pun pergi ke Tanjung semula untuk cari tempat berehat dan mandi salin baju, sebab hotel yang semalam tu dah check out pagi tu. Majlis penutup dan keputusan pula malam tu baru diadakan. Jadi lepas dah jumpa satu hotel ni, kitorang pun dapat la berehat sementara tunggu malam. Hotel yang ni walaupun agak kureng sedikit, tapi tempat dia betul-betul depan Syahbandar yang agak sedap untuk lepak-lepak.

Tapi petang tu aku dengan Irfan ni tak tidur, kitorang pergi ronda-ronda bandar tu berjalan kaki sampai ke MekDonel untuk beli aiskrim, yang terletak tepi terminal bas, 3 4 blok dari hotel. Tapi walaupun aku tak tahu pun sebenarnya 3 4 blok tu jauh mana, tapi fuh, berpeluh juga aku berjalan. Sempat la juga lepak-lepak kat terminal bas tu, sambil berlagak tunggu bas untuk balik ke kampung, saja nak join orang-orang kat situ. Lepas dah bosan tengok orang tunggu bas, aku dengan dia pun berjalan ke Syahbandar tu balik, lalu jalan sepanjang masjid dan istana. Fuh. Dah macam pelancong asing pulak aku ni, ye la, tak pernah betul-betul sampai dan ronda-ronda bandar macam ni. Sempat juga lalu kat taman larangan tempat putera-puteri raja bermain dengan katak sakti dan bergurau dengan dayang-dayang. Lepas tu, pergi lepak tepi sungai, ambil angin. Memang sedap angin kat situ. Sambil tu tengok pak cik yang dah agak tua yang sedang asyik berjoget depan speaker besar yang mengalunkan irama dangdut. Ramai juga yang duk tengok pak cik tu. Aku pun tak tahu pak cik tu tengah high ke, nak melawak ke, nak bersenam ke, entah. Pukul 7 balik ke bilik hotel nak bersiap-siap. Lepas sembahyang Maghrib beserta jamak Isyak di surau depan hotel tu, aku duduk-duduk kat tepi gerai burger tepi surau tu sambil tunggu si Irfan ni yang baru turun nak sembahyang. Sempat juga aku sembang-sembang kosong dengan seorang abang ni yang berumur lebih kurang 40 lebih yang tengah tunggu burger. Aku syak dia ni drebar bas la kut, sebab kat situ pun memang tempat bas-bas tunggu penumpang. Rupa-rupanya dia ni pun dari Kemaman jugak, macam aku. Jauh sungguh tempat jumpa.

Malam tu pukul 8 lebih lepas check out dari hotel, terus ke Pejabat Agama untuk sekali lagi daftar. Kali ni tiket cabutan bertuah yang lain. Tapi masa tu awal lagi jadi kitorang pun ke medan selera dulu, makan-makan. Aku dengan kawan aku ni baham nasi lemak ayam goreng dengan ice-blended- aku mangga, dia coklat. Tapi ice-blended kedai tu dengan ABC yang mak dia pesan memang jahat. Sebiji macam dalam gambar yang disangkakan hanya untuk hiasan semata-mata. Sedap pun macam dalam gambar. ABC tu siap aku yang habiskan dengan bawa sekali dengan mangkuk-mangkuk kertas ke dalam kereta. Di majlis penutup tu, lepas ucapan perasmian penutup yang membuatkan aku terlelap lagi, barulah umum keputusan dan lepas tu sesi pembahagian hadiah. Hadiah tak payah cakap la, ribu-ribu ringgit. Kawan aku si Irfan ni dapat nombor 2 dalam kategori dia, 20 juzuk. Dapat RM 4300, sekali dengan duit saguhati masa saringan itu hari. Pergh. Ada yang dapat RM 7000 paling banyak. Aku telan air liur je la. Tapi memang budak-budak menghafaz al-Quran ni banyak ganjaran, dunia dan akhirat. Bukan macam persepsi masyarakat yang dari dulu menganggap belajar bidang agama ni susah nak dapat kerja, susah nak kaya. Lepas tu ada sesi cabutan bertuah. Aku dah siap baiki rambut yang terjulur keluar dari kopiah, mana la tahu dapat naik pentas menang hadiah. Dan nama pertama yang diumumkan menang cabutan bertuah tu nama aku, Muhammad Khair, sekali dengan alamat yang aku tulis dalam tiket cabutan tu. Pergh. Memang bertuah sungguh. Nanti ramai la hafizah-hafizah yang hantar surat-surat cinta ke alamat rumah aku tu kang. Dan aku pun naik la pentas bersalam dan ambil hamper hadiah bernilai RM 100 yang berupa sebuah kalkulator, sebatang pen kaligrafi, CD tarannum, buku surah-surah pilihan, buku asas-asas fardu ain dan sebuah al-Quran. Bertolak balik pukul 11 lebih jugak. Si Irfan ni sibuk sambil bergurau suruh aku mula hafaz al-Quran dan masuk bertanding tahun depan. Tu pun sebab aku dah bergurau hari tu, kalau menang cabutan bertuah yang memang dah tahu dapat al-Quran, aku akan masuk bertanding. Dan rupa-rupanya Allah memakbulkan gurauan aku. Huhu. Oleh kerana dah lewat malam tu dan masa sampai pun dah nak pukul 2 pagi, aku tidur je rumah dia. Aku bantai tidur sampai pukul 10 pagi. Si Irfan ni langsung tak kejutkan aku. Jadi lepas mandi, makan mi goreng dan layan DVD Fast & Furious 4 dengan dia, tengah hari tu baru aku balik rumah bapak dia hantar. Rumah aku dengan dia tak la jauh pun. Taman je lain-lain, kampung sama.

Asia Pacifik Kable Network

Dear all,

Due to earthquake okkured in Japan, APCN(Asia Pacific Cable Network)2 S4 and S5 are down. Kitaibaraki is isolated from APCN2 at 2011-3-11 13:23UTC. Many cirkuits are affekted. We have summarized these ccts in attachment.

Please kontakt us if necessary.

- as taken from the email received by the Emperor, who works as senior teknician monitoring underwater network kables at TM's Cherating Submarine Kable Landing Station.

8.9-magnitude Terror

Friday, an 8.9-magnitude earthquake struck 373 kilometres from Tokyo at 1446 hrs (1346 hrs lokal time) kausing several tsunamis to hit Japan koasts. Hundreds were dead as hundreds more were missing. Death toll is on rise while tens of thousands were forced to be evakuated. The quake and its aftershocks also shook central Tokyo and left Tokyo stranded. Thousands are stuck at the Narita International Airport as it was klosed down due to the major earthquake, while about 4 millions of homes in Tokyo and surrounding areas are having power shortage. The nuklear plants were reportedly safe and safely shut down though the Japanese authorities has ordered the prekautionary evakuation of the area around the Fukushima plant, which is one of four plants lokated klosest to the quake. No immediate danger was reported though the krews were having trouble in kooling it down. The quake was the latest in a series around Japan this week as there had been an earthquake with a preliminary magnitude of 6.3 in early Thursday off the koast of Honshu and another one with a magnitude of 7.2 off the same koast a day earlier, as reported by the kountry's meteorologikal agency.

- as edited from konstantly updated artikle in CNN Asia

1.2 milligram of Idontgiveadamn

Have you seen on TV about illegal immigrants? You see how the law enforcers chase and hunt them? Arrest them? We know how they treat these immigrants- like eskaping animals. And about those legal visitors who smuggle drugs into our kountry, you know how they put them on trial and do everything they kan to make sure the drug smugglers pay for their krime. But what about OUR drug smugglers? We always read on newspaper and watch on TV about how Malaysians, girls especially, get arrested in foreign kountries for drug smuggling attempts. And how do our media report it? It is often that the arrested Malaysians are manipulated by syndikates. Get tricked into being drug donkeys without their acknowledgement. Are they really oblivious to what they're sent to foreign kountries for? And how does our government treat such kases? They send everyone they kan to save and bring back the so-kalled drug donkeys alive, use whatever diplomatik shit they got with the governments of the kountries. Why not just let these drug donkeys pay for their stupidity; to accept the offer for a nice vakation in the first place?

And how do we know that they're really tricked into it? For all we know, these donkeys DO know what they're doing and pretend to be totally innocent- of kourse they MUST do that, it's a matter of life and death.

Truth : Fucked Up

I know I deserved all that- to be treated like an asshole. To be skorched with hatred for what I did. Haha. I know I'm an asshole. The most useless family member. I do nothing but waste their food and money and elektricity. I kontribute nothing. Why should I be whining for what they said to me tonight? That was nothing to be kompared to my uselessness. And one of the twins also said I brought her such a shame- I've embarrassed her in front of her friend and doktor for what I've done few hours back. The revving thing. Something that showed my impatience. Well, I AM impatient. And yeah, you know what, I'm sick of all of you. I'm sick of MYSELF. I'm sick of being a jerk. Well, there's no one to blame but me. It's all my fault.

Hello, this is loser speaking. My name is Asshole.

International Women's Day

Yesterday evening of Wednesday, I picked up my mother and my sister at their workplace- they work at the same place. And Mother gave her friend a ride. I drove to her friend's house like usual; at about 40 kph, already konsidered fast by my mother. After dropping her friend, it was about about 2 or 3 minutes later when my sister started talking. About another people. I'm not a good person either but damn I hate her talking. And I decided to show some protest. So I started driving recklessly- giving a few emergency brakes. They were already noisy nagging at me about my driving. And when I arrived at a bump, that was where I gave the most emergency brake which sent them thrown forward. And my sister then shouted furiously at me asking me what was I so mad about to drive that way. I didn't say anything and just kept driving, a little slower this time. They were still angry with me; that damn sister was angrier. I still didn't talk to her when we were at home. I still don't.

And few hours before now, I went to fetch her twin who works at a klinik. She was on her night shift which ended at about 10.05 tonight. One thing I hate about fetching her is the waiting part. Her work's end time depends on the last patient leaving so there are times where I have to wait for 10, 15 and even 30 minutes. That's shit. I hate waiting. And so was tonight. Her twin told me to go there at 10 and said she was already done but when I reached there after rushing, she was still working, though the last patient was just leaving. But I still had to wait for like 10 minuites- it doesn't matter how little time I needed to wait but she still wasn't done, unlike what her twin had told me. I was pissed off. I revved the engine a few times, shouted in the kar alone, and knocking impatiently on the steering and against the roof. When she and a friend of hers finally got in the kar, I quickly let the klutch and launched forward. She too, told me to slow down, beware of kars ahead and other things that I already knew. Yeah, I know I just got my licence like 2 months ago but I SURE KNOW HOW TO DRIVE you piece of shit. But I just fucked it off and did as her said. And there was a kar- WITH A FUCKING ASSHOLE DRIVING IN IT- going out from a small road to the main road I was on and that was kind of bullshit. My sister got mad about it and she hit the horn while I was driving silently. Okay. That was kool. After dropping her friend, and when we were already at the junktion of the street to my house, there was another kar koming from the opposite side. I waited for it to go straight towards my side before turning right, but then it turned to the same road I was going to turn without giving any signal. That triggered it; I'd been mad since the waiting part so I hit the horn for a few sekonds. And the kar pulled out at a house just a few doors from mine- it was my neighbour. I don't need to tell how mad my sister was at me for doing that. We got home and she exploded it out to everyone; and adding to it was my mom's story about how I'd driven and akted since the evening. They were all angry- the twins were loudest while Father was eating silently. Women, I hate them.

Jack and the Beanstalk

I'm not sure if it's kalled stalking; for me, it's just getting in touch, so the person whom we used to have in relationship with doesn't just vanish just like that. Well, if you konsider it as stalking, then, what the hell. I do that too. There's nothing inappropriate in knowing what our friends are doing. Knowing how their life's going. I don't know- I don't want to make a generalisation; maybe there are inappropriate stalkers- but between us, I think it's just fine. It's just that we find it might be a little awkward to konfront each other regarding serious matters, feelings for example. Haha. We're stalking the stalkers.

Bread Barbeque

I've been someone whose age is 18 years old for almost 12 days now. And I am still what I was when I was 17. Not that I expekted anything to change so drastikally after my birthday; it's just a fucking number. I'm still not working anywhere right now; I never even tried to find any job. It's time to be a kompletely lazy ass now, for the next few months. What the hell, I've been such a useless fuck all these years.

Aktually, I don't really have anything to write about these days. Except the other day where my friends and I went to a river and enjoyed ourselves there. Yeah, it was quite exciting; I didn't know there is such a place here in my distrikt. Well, it takes about 30 minutes of driving to go there but sure, I kan just go there again next time when I feel like in need for a good time. Maybe not so good any more, I don't know.