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I'm a man of dualism but I'm no betrayer to my own principes; I just need to see things from different angles of thought.

At last. I think this is the best answer I have so far to explain why my minds and words keep going against themselves. Like how I call myself with a Russian name yet in the same time I want to speak German. Like how I like both Russia and Germany when I still know they were once battling on Stalingrad. Everything has its explanation. And now I know what it really is in my case, dualism.