I've realised this some time ago but I just realised now that my narcissistik personality disorder is at a dangerous level that it worries me sick now. To talk about it, I don't know where to start. It grows worse as I grow older, though I extremely doubt if I grow maturer. Every time I learn about something new, I try to find something in it that I kan relate to me. And whenever people talk to me about my opinion on certain issues, as a way to fight my indecisive and dualism problem, I try hard to klarify my thoughts and opinions before I bekome too absorbed with myself and what I think, and start ignoring what others say. I'm not sure if I'm over sensitively judging my aktions, but it does make me feel skared to know the fakt that I might be that kind of person. Or that I really am a narcissist. And other things that make me a narcissist inklude always checking myself in the mirror and always trying to be different from others. Yeah, I go to look in the mirror how I look like more than once in every hour. This has been long worse since we have a big mirror on the wall of our living room. Haha. Shit. And about trying to be different from others, I'm not sure if that's from my narcissism or my non-konformism, though I like the idea of me being a non-konformist, as a way to be more rebellious. I don't know. Perhaps, I fall in love with myself. That's fucking disgusting. Or perhaps I'm just an introvert, of in serious kase.
And yeah, this Sound Machine is another example to show that I'm excessively preokkupied with matters regarding my personal issues, besides my using of Ks, though it was first inspired by Deutsch, I've since made it to symbolise my identity. I skare the shit out of myself. Freaky psykopath.
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